


April

by brave_little_toaster



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mickey has feelings which are validated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 15:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brave_little_toaster/pseuds/brave_little_toaster
Summary: Mickey has been acting melancholy for a few weeks. Ian recognises it is that time of year again and is pissed why Mickey has never told what happened. The rest of the Gallaghers see Ian's annoyance reach a climax and overhear Mickey's confession.





	

Mickey has been acting heavyhearted for a few weeks. It wasn't his usual grumpiness that Ian secretly found endearing, no this was pure despair. Ian knew it was that time of year, Mickey was consistently down in the dumps when the weather started to warm up rapidly. Ian had never asked and Mickey had never told and that was starting to piss Ian off. 

Ian despised seeing his boyfriend so miserable. Angry he could deal with, but this was different and he just wanted to help.

The couple had been invited to Fiona's for lunch. Ian babbled beforehand about how lovely it would be to see Kev and Vee again, but Mickey didn't seem to be listening. That was the other thing, every time Ian glanced over, Mickey's eyebrows would be furrowed and he seemed pained with memories.

They had been seated at the table for a few minutes and it was growing uncomfortable. Every one noticed Mickey hadn't said a word and refused to make eye contact with anyone. Lip though his usual dickish comments would be unfitting, as Mickey looked real fucking dejected. Subsequently, Vee noticed Ian had not stopped watching him anxiously, unaware of when Carl tried to get his attention.

Carl tried again 'Ian!' Ian pried his eyes off Mickey and saw every one was staring at either of the boys. Ian replied burdensomely to Carl 'yeah?' Carl asked gingerly 'you okay?' Lip watched Ian run is hand through his hair like he did when he was stressed. Debbie hoped every between them was okay, but this seemed different, they weren't pissed at each other. Ian plastered on a fake smile that fooled no one 'fine.'

Fiona started to brightly tell a story as a distraction, but Ian had had enough and stood to his feet hastily. His chair made a loud noise as it scraped back that caused Debbie to jump, but Mickey hadn't even noticed. Ian snapped him out of his bitter trance 'outside. Fucking now.' Mickey opened his mouth and every one pre head the empty 'I'm fine.' There was no point in him saying it, as the miserable and distressed expression on his face proved the contrary. Mickey warily got to his feet and followed Ian, not closing the door behind him.

Ian wasn't sure why he was angry but he growled 'fucking tell me what's wrong, Mickey.' Mickey's eyes widened 'I...I...I... It's nothing.' Mickey felt embarrassed and shameful that he chickened out of saying the issue. Ian glared at him and spat 'bullshit. I'm not 15 anymore, you have to tell me shit that makes you feel fucked up. I wanna help. Think I don't know you haven't been able to sleep for weeks? You're freaking me the fuck out! You always get like this, this time of year. Like I do at thanksgiving when Monica thought it would be a fun idea to try and...' Ian trailed off thinking about how fragile and irritated he persistently turned as the days grew closer to the day when his mom slit his wrists. 

Ian stopped and realised this must be about Mickey's mom, too. Mickey had never spoken about her, only occasionally screaming for her in nightmares featuring Terry. 

Mickey paced around quickly and stated slowly 'April. I can't... fucking. Do. April.' Ian nodded at the new information, it was the month that Mickey couldn't handle. Ian waited patiently for him to elaborate.

Mickey sighed and shared 'fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 'S when my mom... Fuck, fuck, fuck.' He couldn't say it and Ian didn't expect him to. There was constantly an uneasy aura surrounding the topic of the Milkovich mom.

Ian opened his arms and looked at Mickey expectantly. Mickey scoffed 'I'm not five, I don't need a fucking hug, Ian.' His voice broke at the end, but Ian chose to ignore it and claimed kindly 'every one needs hugs.'

Mickey walked blindly into Ian's arms, as they were his favourite place to be. He calmed down considerably. Ian rested his chin on his small boyfriend's head. Ian hummed 'it's alright,' glad Mickey had stopped being stubborn and let him in. He stroked Mickey's cheek soothingly. Mickey huffed at the gesture 'I'm acting like a fucking pussy, I know.'

Mickey bit his lip to stop the whine from escaping when he was harshly removed from the warm embrace. Ian grabbed his cheeks and stared intently into his eyes 'you're no fucking pussy, dumbass. Don't say that shit. You're allowed to miss your mom.'

Mickey said earnestly 'she would have liked you. Knew I was a fag.' Ian was shocked 'she did?' Mickey smiled softly and hummed 'yeah. Didn't give a fuck. Just wanted Terry to never fucking find out and for me to be happy.'

Ian waited a moment then quietly said 'I'm sorry.' Mickey felt all warm inside that someone actually cared. 'Hey, isn't your fucking fault Terry... did it. C'mere.' He wiggled his body closer to Ian again, feeling safe and at home.

Ian graciously overlooked the murderous implications of Mickey's words. He had always assumed Terry murdered his wife in a drunken rage. Ian asked curiously 'what was she like?' Mickey's face broke out into a grin 'fuck, she was the best. Was so fucking kind. Mandy thinks she was a selfish bitch, but she used to tell me she loved me all the time, even though I couldn't say it back.' Mickey started to frown and Ian could see the regret bubbling under his surface.

Ian tried to lighten the mood by teasing 'so you have always been shit at proclaiming love then, huh? Not just me?' Mickey retorted 'shut the fuck up,' with no malice. Ian smiled warmly and Mickey admitted quietly 'you smile like her.' Ian knew the compliment must have been hard to say, so he drew no attention towards it.

Ian questioned 'what did you guys do together?' Mickey hummed and replied shyly 'used to go to Sizzlers when Mandy was little.' Ian poked him and teased 'our first date, huh?' Mickey laughed 'yeah, man. Hadn't been back since. Wanted to go with you.'

Mickey yawned loudly. Ian said empathetically 'you need some rest.' Mickey admitted 'fucking nightmares, what's the point?' Ian bit his lip 'we'll take a nap when we go home, okay?' Mickey nodded, accepting the arrangement, knowing Ian would take care of him.

Ian's beam grew and he took into consideration the date. He offered 'nearly the end of fucking April, you know? Never really like the month either, to be honest.' Mickey laughed 'yeah, I got this.' Ian nodded but said with worry 'should of told me, douchebag. Remember last April? You had that whole fucking breakdown and thought I didn't know. Or the year before when you drank the Alibi dry or the year before that when-' Mickey cut his off by kissing Ian sweetly and lingering on his lips.

He pulled away shyly and Ian said 'what was that for?' Mickey said truthfully 'never been able to talk about her. Not even with Mandy, hurts too much.' 

Ian said gently 'hey, you listen to me ramble about Monica all the time, it's okay.' Mickey smirked 'this got gayer than I expected.' Ian barked a laugh 'yeah, almost like we are or something. Come on, jackass. I love you. Don't do that shit again, okay? I get all stressed when you're sad and I don't know why.'

Mickey kissed him again and said almost dreamily 'I love you, too. Thanks.' Mickey paused then continued 'Jesus, it's going to be a bit fucking awkward in there now. Why did you make that so dramatic?' Ian fake gasped which caused Mickey to roll his eyes. Ian theatrically said 'just breaks my heart watching the love of my life being upset.' Mickey snorted 'fucking sap,' but his eyes shone brightly. Ian grinned 'yeah, but you love it.' Ian asked seriously 'you going to be okay?' Mickey promised growing in confidence 'I'm a Milkovich. Can handle it.' He hated to admit it, but fuck, talking about shit did help. Ian would have a field day if he learnt that.

Ian demanded 'you're going to tell me when shit gets too much?' Mickey reassured 'yep, promise.' Ian laced their fingers together, feeling confident Mickey had actually discussed something which had been heavily bothering him.

They walked back inside again and silently sat down. Mickey had a small smile playing on his face and Ian seemed more content since Mickey was happier and they talked.

Conversation started up again immediately as no one revealed the backdoor had been open and that their whole interaction was heard. 

Fiona knew Mickey would hate it if they all spoke about his mom, so she left it. Kev, just like Ian, had noticed the depressing spike in Mickey's attitude in April as he used to get more hammered than usual. Lip understood as Mandy used to be the same, she got all skittish and cagey when the dreaded time arrived. Carl was happy Ian's badass thug let his brother look after him sometimes, no one could be strong all the time. Debbie couldn't help the envy of their love, no one thought it would have lasted.

Kev spoke loudly to Vee to distract attention from Mickey and Ian engaged in a quick paced chat with Debbie and Carl. Mickey looked down at his hands in his lap and reached over to stroke Ian's thigh absentmindedly. Fiona smiled at Mickey and life carried on.


End file.
